Well, it appears the internet has provided us with a Reddit user's plea for help and a cleaning company's navigation menu. While fascinating, this is about as useful as a screen door on a submarine for actually removing that inkblot masterpiece currently adorning your sofa. Fear not, for I shall guide you through this crisis.
First things first, let's address the rogue ink. Before you do anything, you must consult the oracle: the care tag on your sofa. Look for a "W" (water-based cleaners are okay), an "S" (solvent-based cleaners only), "W/S" (you can use either), or an "X" (vacuum only, and at this point, you might just want to buy a decorative throw pillow). This little letter is your roadmap to victory. Also, whatever method you choose, always test it on a hidden spot first, like the underside of a cushion. We're trying to remove a stain, not create a new, even more mysterious one.
Your most likely champion in this battle is rubbing alcohol. It's the kryptonite for most ballpoint pen ink. Dampen a clean, white cloth with alcohol (don't pour it directly on the sofa unless you're aiming for a tie-dye effect) and begin to blot the stain. I repeat, BLOT. Do not scrub. Scrubbing is the ink's best friend; it just invites the stain to spread out and get comfortable. Dab gently from the outside of the stain inward to contain the chaos. You should see the ink transferring from your couch to the cloth, which is a truly magical sight.
If you're out of rubbing alcohol, an old-school, alcohol-based hairspray can also do the trick in a pinch. Spray a little onto a cloth and blot away. Once the stain has vanished, gently blot the area with a different cloth dampened with cool water to rinse away the solvent. Finally, pat the area dry with a clean towel and let it air dry completely. Go forth and reclaim your sofa from the tyranny of ink
