Acoustic Guitar Master? (Pittsburgh area)

I'll be Letterman and you be Paul Shaffer. Experienced and Entertaining Vocalist/ Comedian/ Emcee/ Talk Show Host- looking for a guitar player for and audience enticed experience of song, crowd participation and back up, games, jokes, select audience karaoke and a whole lot of 2 hour fun. I'll get gigs, EZ I know ALL the crowd pleasing songs and so do you. Bands are too hard and no one wants them. I have a 2 hour fast moving show that will have everyone having fun, laughing and singing along. It would be great if you sang a little but not a biggie. I'm a 1 man party. I'll bring a slew of percussion instruments for everyone. 2 Hours...hit 'em hard, smack the high note and exit stage left. Leave them wanting more, of course. All my guitar players have died. I have not. Let's have fun make a few $$